Ace Shorts
by ComatoseButterfly
Summary: Short Ace Attorney fanfictions. At first, I was going to put them as separate stories, but it's probably better like this. 1st story - Tampons. Sorry guys. You do act like the world's ending if tampons are mentioned, though.
1. Tampons

Tampons - An Ace Short

"Trucy, I'm just going to the shops, do you need me to get anything for you while I'm there?" Phoenix shouted up the stairs to his daughter. For 7 years now he'd had to shop for not one, but two people, on pretty small wages, since he lost his attorney badge. He expected Trucy to ask for magician stuff, since she was a magician, so he never saw it coming that he would ever have to shop for "lady things", as he referred to them.

"Yeah, actually. I know I usually buy them for myself, but I have a show tomorrow, and I have to prepare." She called back, "I'm out of tampons."

The second that last word hit Phoenix's ear, he wished he'd never asked. He was a man. Men weren't supposed to shop for their daughter's "lady things". He would buy decks of cards, hats, wands, boxes, food, anything but female stuff. It was a mother's job to shop for that kind of stuff! It was times like these that Phoenix wished Lamirior would just come out and say that she was Trucy's Mom so she could buy Trucy's "lady things" for her.

"U-uhm... S-sure." Phoenix stuttered.

"Thanks, Daddy! Anything regular's fine, although I do prefer Tampax Pearl, if they have those... Oh, but I also like-"

"Y-yeah, I-I think I got it now, Trucy." Phoenix interrupted, and sped out the door as fast as he could.

_Guys are so weird_, Trucy thought to herself. _You ask for tampons and it's like the world's just ended_. She giggled at this thought, before returning to practice taking an even bigger object out of her magic panties.

_Okay, you can do it, Nick. All you have to do, is pick up the box, put it in the basket, and go to the till. It's not hard. Just do it quickly before anyone sees you._

This was what Phoenix Wright was thinking as he mentally encouraged himself. It shouldn't have been that hard. He'd been a famous defense attorney for 3 years, so why did it feel like this was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life?

_Pick it up and run, Nick._

What would Trucy think if she knew her Daddy was a huge wimp?

_Be a man, Nick! Men shouldn't be afraid of a little piece of absorbent fabric on string. Pick it up, Nick, pick it up and run!_

But no matter how much he said this to himself, Phoenix couldn't pick up the box. It was too hard. So he stood there, looking at it, determined to pick it up, however his arms refused to move.

"Excuse me, sir, do you need any help?"

One of the sales assistants had come to see why he hadn't moved for nearly half an hour.

"U-uh... yeah. I n-need to get my daughter some... uh... t-... tam-..." Phoenix stuttered. He couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"Tampons?" The sales assistant asked.

"Uh... yeah, that box." He pointed to the box he had been staring at for the last 30 minutes.

The assistant picked up the box and placed it into Phoenix's basket with a smile. "Don't worry, you're not the first Dad that couldn't pick up a box himself."

This made Phoenix feel a lot better about himself, and now, with his shopping list all ticked off, he headed towards the checkout.

There was a loud clang as the front door opened and shut. _Daddy must be back_, Trucy thought to herself. She ran outside her bedroom and down the stairs.

"Hi, Daddy!" She cheered, "Did you get me my tampons?"

Phoenix bowed his head shamefully, nervous sweat dripping down his face. "I-I... I couldn't do it... I got it into the basket, a-and... w-when I got to the till... t-the box just k-kept glaring at me..."

Trucy giggled. "It's okay, Daddy, I found another box in the cupboard anyways."

"Oh, good." Phoenix wiped the sweat off his face, and then realized what Trucy had just said properly. "Y-you mean... I went through all that and there was a box in the cupboard the whole time?"

"Y-yeah... Sorry about that!" Trucy smiled, nervously scratching the back of her neck.


	2. Klavier's Sexuality

Klavier's Sexuality

**I know we all wonder about this guy's orientation. He flirts with many people, no matter their gender, so we're probably all a bit confused. Enjoy! :)**

Klavier paced back and forth in his office, thinking about something that had bugged him for months. The question, as his brother Kristoph had recently told him, that had bugged pretty much everyone who came across him. The question of his sexuality. Whenever he talked to someone about "confessions" - on the subject generally or of one confessing to the other - they would always ask, "Hey, Klav - So you gay, or what?"

Well, that's how Daryan always phrased it, anyway.

_Please, Klavier, don't be so silly,_ he reassured himself. _Of course you're straight, you like-_

Oh. That was just it. He was about to finish that sentence with "Ema Skye", when a second name appeared in his mind. Someone he had thought up until now as nothing more than a rival at work and, more secretly, with love. He had never once thought of Apollo in _that _sense. He grabbed his jacket and ran outside, preparing to tell Apollo his great news. He ran down the stairs two at a time. Now it came into his mind, he was so sure of it. Why hadn't he seen it before? Of course! He was in love with-

Oh. There it went again. Ema Skye, right back into his mind. He had just left the building, but now he was once again unsure of who he would be confessing his love to. Ema was beautiful - not just any old fräulein, but a true goddess. Obviously it must be her he was in love with, not Apollo. So instead, he headed for Ema's lab, running across the street's joyfully. Obviously it was Detective Skye! He enjoyed being snackoo'd by her, even though it hurt. So of course, he was in love with-

He halted again. "Herr Forehead" had reappeared into his Kopf. The stupid hairstyle he found amusing - in a way-too-cute way; The way he always made rash, baseless objections, but still managed to win cases; And the way he smiled when he had found a contradiction in a testimony. Klavier ran faster than he had before, taking as big strides as he could in the other direction, heading straight for the Wright Anything Agency. He would embrace his inner gay. Naturally, it must have been Apollo who owned Klavier's-

But then his mind flipped back over to Ema Skye. She had soft, shiny, long hair that Klavier imagined himself running his hands through; She had a smile that, although it was something Klavier rarely saw, showed her ambition, loyalty and determination to get wherever she wanted to. She was the kind of girl any guy would fall for if they spent too long with her, because Klavier found her so perfect. All this time, he really was stra-

But, then, another person came to mind - Daryan Crescend. Sure, he was a criminal, which made him part of "the enemy" league, and sure, they argued a lot, but most perfect couples did, right? He imagined himself stroking that strangely gravity-defying hairstyle as they kissed in the rain, arms round each other. He once again turned, to run back to the offices. Maybe it was Daryan. They bickered like an old, married couple, not two brothers. He had to tell Daryan. Running down the pavement, he thought about all the things he and Daryan could-

Not again. This time, it was the person he least expected to fantasize about. None other than his older brother, Kristoph Gavin. The matching ponytails, the same determined expressions, even if they both had completely different aspirations. Well, Klavier was pretty much in love with himself, and Kristoph was the spitting image of him, but-

"I might be gay, I might be bisexual, but I'm drawing the line at incestuous, damn it!" He yelled aloud, annoyed at himself for how dirty his mind was getting.

"Oh, hey, Klavier." Kristoph said in a couldn't-care-less tone.

"H-help... me... K-kristoph..." Klavier panted madly, "I-I... I think I'm gay, and then I think I'm straight, a-and it's really... really annoying!"

"Oh. Is that all?" Kristoph replied, staring up at his younger brother with disgust. "I can't believe you interrupted me for this, but - Klavier. it's called bisexual."

"Oh..." Klavier thought about this for a while, and then plastered a smile on his face, "I'm bi!" Klavier ran out of the Solitary Cells

"You're completely mental..."

**You can think up Klav's fantasy of Nick for yourself. ;) The joys of audience participation really make you feel part of the story! (I'm just too lazy to write another paragraph, actually.) **


	3. Franzy's Whip

Franzy's Whip

"So, let's run through your testimony one more time, shall we, Mr Larry Butz?"

Larry was sat in the prosecutor's office, preparing his testimony after how his latest girlfriend, Julia, had supposedly been robbed. Of course, Larry believed she would always tell the truth, and so, of course, despite not really seeing much of the actual crime itself, he was going to testify to the court, and let his friend, Phoenix Wright, pick out any contradictions it held (although he wasn't intending on letting even Phoenix Wright win and prove the man not guilty).

The load crack of a whip rang in Larry's ears.

"Mr Larry Butz!" Franziska von Karma shouted at him. He had been sat there, thinking up this internal, third-person monologue for the past 5 minutes, and it was basic knowledge that you didn't leave a von Karma waiting.

"Heheh, sorry Franzy - got a little side-tracked there..." Larry smiled nervously, staring at the whip with as much caution as he could muster into one expression.

"Well then, stop being such a fool, and repeat your testimony - and do it without so much foolishness, would you? Only a fool would sit there like you, foolishly keeping a prosecutor waiting for you to repeat your foolish testimony like a fool's fool."

"You use the word fool a lot, don't you, Franzy?"

She cracked her whip again, little more than an inch away from his knee, anger spread across her face.

"And what's with the whip? It's not very motivational."

"Well, you sitting there like a fool isn't very motivational, even to the biggest of fools. I carry this whip around with me at all times to whip any foolishness out of fools like you and make them tell the truth."

She cracked the whip once more.

"Oh, I bet you're one of those girls who likes it rough, right? S&M and all that."

"Mr Larry Butz!" She cracked her whip right next to his shocked face. "How dare you suggest such a thing? Only a fool with as much foolishness a fool could possibly hold would say something so foolishly foolish and inappropriate to a woman of my standing!"

"Aww, come on, Franzy - I'm sure there's one guy you'd love to whip, nice and hard, right across their body, right? You can tell me!"

"Personally I'd like to whip _you _nice and hard across your body, but not in the sense you are suggesting! How completely vulgar of you!"

However, there was one guy Franziska would have liked to whip in _that sense _and in the normal sense of just plain hurting them - none other than Miles Edgeworth. Her father had mentored him, and, although she thought of him as her little brother and, they had a sort of sibling-like rivalry, she also couldn't shake certain - _feelings._

Of course, she would never admit these feeling to anyone, let alone Larry Butz, so she simply shook her head, cracked her whip once more, and asked Larry much more sternly.

"Now, get back on track, Mr Larry Butz. Your testimony, please."

"Aww, but Franzy! I know there's someone - I could see it in your eyes. Is it - could it possibly be me?" Larry's eyes went dewey, and he smiled at her in the way a young boy would stare at his new christmas present, it being none other than the latest toy.

"Only a fool would love such a foolish man as you, Mr Larry Butz." Franziska scowled at him in disgust.

"Aww, that wasn't very nice Franzy!"

Larry looked at her, eyes dewey with tears, completely insulted by what Franziska has just said about him.

"Don't give me such trivial looks. You and I both know the only times I talk to you are strictly professional."

"I-I got it! So who was it, then? The lucky guy?"

"W-well, it was Mr Mi- No one!" Franziska blushed a deep scarlet, "Anyway - Testimony! Or I'm dropping you as a witness, no matter how important you are to this case!" She cracked her whip a final time, louder than ever.

Even Larry could take the hint. He went back through his mind, and then recited his testimony again.


	4. Dahlia's Hair

**Yep, this is a really short Ace Short. I didn't want to stretch it out too much because stuff like this gets boring after a short while. Anyway, enjoy. ^^**

Dahlia Hawthorne(well, really Iris Hawthorne) and Phoenix Wright were what seemed like the most randomly paired couple in the history of the universe. But it seemed today, Dahlia was fond of Phoenix - which wasn't particularly normal (although she was really Iris at this point). After about an hour walking around the park, Phoenix turned to look at her, a confused expression on his face.

"Hey, wasn't your hair ginger yesterday?" He asked, particularly confused. He was sure the day before that it was black, as well. And then the day before that it may have been ginger. Phoenix was very confused. Did she really need to dye it that often? He pondered this, while Iris(in disguise as Dahlia) stuttered to think up an answer.

"Well, um, yes... I-I'm sure it was this colour yesterday. M-maybe you're colour blind? Yes, that's probably it..." She bowed her head, embarrassed(well, actually, appalled that she could lie to Phoenix so easily).

"Woah! You know, you could be right. I've always thought this world was less colourful than it could be..." Phoenix seemed to take this pretty well, which shocked Iris, but she tried not to show it. He bought the lie - she didn't want to have to lie to explain why she had to lie to him on top of that. So she just nodded, and tried not to make herself feel too guilty about it.

Doug Swallows stood in front of Phoenix that dreaded day - the day Doug died, killed by none other than Dahlia Hawthorne. But, of course, that's not relevant right now. So let's just get to the main point.

"She's bad news, Wright. I'm not particularly fond of you, but it's for your own good that you stay away from Dahlia Hawthorne." Doug told Phoenix as sincerely as he could, but of course, Phoenix Wright wasn't one to ever believe the one thing he needed to believe.

"Y-you're lying! Y-you're j-just jealous!" Phoenix stuttered - partially from denial, and partially because he was freezing out in the rain. Of course, he had become pretty suspicious too, but, being Phoenix Wright, he didn't really take that very seriously at all.

"Oh, come on, Wright. Surely even you weren't dumb enough to not notice the way her hair just suddenly changes from black to ginger all the time." Doug sniggered slightly at this, and it insulted Phoenix incredibly. How dare he! Obviously, he wasn't aware of his condition, either. Using it against Dollie like that - it was just cruel.

"Surely even you weren't dumb enough to realize you're colour blind!" He shouted. Phoenix was absolutely furious. How dare he! Doug's face went blank as soon as he heard this.

"Colour-blind? Really?" He replied, staring at Phoenix like he was crazy. _Does he actually buy this crap?_ Doug had heard that Phoenix wasn't the brightest crayon in the box - more a grey than a yellow - this was just unbelievable. Either he was really into Dahlia...

Or he was just plain stupid.

"Listen, Wright. I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but that's a load of bull. Obviously she's been lying to you - can you not see that?"

"I can see it about as clearly as I can see colours." He smiled cockily at Doug, as if he'd proved a point - although he hadn't, not even in the slightest. He decided to drop that line of thinking and move on, giving up on ever showing Phoenix he could see colours perfectly fine, it was Dahlia (and partially Iris, although Doug didn't really know a heck of a lot about her) that had been in the wrong. He patted him on the shoulder lightly.

"Yes, yes, okay, the world is just colour-blind. Whatever you say."

Despite the obvious "let's move along" sarcasm, Phoenix considered to smile in his "I told you so" way.

_ This guy really is clueless..._


	5. The Sleepover

The Sleepover

**Sorry for the wait! But here it is, the next Ace Short. It's set when Phoenix, Miles and Larry are in fourth grade, shortly after they become friends. A little bit of implied yaoi towards the end, but more humorous and less "serious". Enjoy~**

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><p>"This is your house?" I asked as I entered. For a boy who had only a week ago stolen my lunch money, his family didn't look to be in bad financial circumstances at all.<p>

"Yup!" He grinned widly, taking my surprised face in a positive way despite the fact I hadn't complimented his house in the least. He had a very positive outlook on everything, it seemed - which made him a very annoying person to be around.

My slightly more normal friend, Phoenix Wright, was also standing next to me and looking as surprised as I was, if not more. This was the home of Larry Butz (or was it Harry Butz?), the class trouble-maker. It wasn't expected that he'd have something this nice.

He'd have to get used to lower quality housing, however, as he wasn't exactly the brightest - there's no way he would get a job later in life that would afford him a nice place like this.

"Let's take your stuff upstairs! You guys are gonna love my room, it's so cool!" His face lit up, and he rushed up the flight of stairs as fast as a mouse fleeing from a cat. I looked at Phoenix, who just shrugged, and followed behind.

There was no denying it - his room was pretty cool. If he toned down on the orange, it would've even been to my standards.

But this was Larry Butz - he wore orange wherever he went. It wasn't likely he would change the colour of his room to something less eye-aching, even if it meant he'd not have to strain the eyes of everyone entering if he did so.

Then again, he was so dumb he probably didn't notice it.

11:30PM.

I knew because I had just checked my watch. Larry had just started going on about one of the girls in our class - I wasn't paying enough attention to pick up on who it was. It appeared he was going through each girl, hoping one of them would like him. Within the past week that I'd been "friends" with him, this was the fourth girl he'd had a crush on.

"Hey, Edgey, are you listening?" Larry asked me suddenly, not looking especially annoyed but kind of dewy in the eyes - in a sad, pitiful way.

"Stop calling me that..." I muttered in a stern voice. His face instantly swung back to his obnoxious smile.

"Aww, you're just saying that because you don't have a nickname for me. No worries, you can call me Butzy! Alright now, Edgey?"

"Pack it in, would you?" I glared, but he didn't even take it seriously.

"Hey, Nicky, you don't mind my nicknames, do you?" He turned to Phoenix, his dewy eyes back in place again.

"Uh, I never really gave you permission to call me "Nicky" either." He scratched the back of his neck nervously, a sweat drop on his forehead.

Larry fell back on his bed, sulking. He had a tendency to do that.

We were sitting up in Larry's room, each talking quietly on our own separate beds. I imagined from this point that the conversation wasn't going much further, so I snuggled down into the quilt of my bed and fell asleep. Larry was the first to go, though - only a minute after he'd started sulking I could hear his distinguishable snores.

_He's so irritating._

1:12AM.

I awoke to the same snoring I only barely managed to fall asleep to. Only so much different. No, not different. Just... louder? I opened my eyes, grasping quickly what kind of situation I might be in.

And sure enough, Larry Butz was lying next to me.

I let out a squeal, instantly waking him up. "Ugh?" He opened his eyes, and looked up at me, then grinned. "Oh, hey Edgey!"

"What are you doing?" I whisper-shouted at him. What kind of reason would anyone have to jump into bed with his friend?

"I had a nightmare. It was so scary! Basically-"

I hushed him. I didn't really care about his "nightmare".

"Get back in your own bed!" I told him, kicking him out the end. He fell to the floor, groaning.

"Owww... That hurt, Edgey!" He slowly got up, a pout on his face. "Guess I'll go sleep with Nicky, then."


	6. Dang Dat's Bangtidy

Dang Dat's Bangtidy

**Sorry, little updating in a while. Had no ideas. But this came to me in the shower. YOU GUYS ARE BANGTIDY so this is dedicated to you. ;)**

**Enjoy, sorry it's so short!**

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><p>"Dang, yo' sister's got style." Wocky Kitaki pulled up a chair next to Apollo and slipped into it, shaking his head and laughing as he watched over at the young magician, performing her magic tricks. They were at one of Trucy's shows - her first big one with her "Uncle" Valant at the Sunshine Colliseum. Despite it once being the scene of a murder, Trucy had been so excited. And to perform with the amazing Valant Gramarye, her dad's best friend? It was like a wish come true! Wocky Kitaki didn't think so as he watched his latest prey from across the room, giving her suggestive looks that were never, unfortunately for Wocky, caught by her. "How old did ya say the Shorty was again?"<p>

Apollo rolled his eyes. "15. In other words-" He nudged Wocky, gently despite his sick-of-this expression. "Way too young for you."

Wocky smirked. "Oh, really, Bizzoy? Ya gon' try an' stop me or somethin'?" He teased him, and Apollo once again prodded him, sharp elbow digging into his arm. "Awkay, awkay. Ya gotta admit she's bangtidy, though." Wocky wolf-whistled at her. She turned around as Apollo grabbed Wocky and pulled him down, hiding them both behind the bar counter.

"What the hell are you doing?" Apollo hissed, looking over the counter to make sure Trucy had turned away before dragging them both up again. "You do _not_ hit on my sister."

"Tch, your half-sis." Wocky tried his best to brush off the threat. "'Sides, I don' see the harm in it. 'S'only what, 4 years?" He shrugged, taking a swig of his beer.

Apollo's expression was a look of astonishment. "Are you serious?" He really had no idea why it was so wrong? Couldn't he use his own brain - in front of a lawyer, to boot? Wocky nodded, a confused look spread across his face. "You really are an idiot."

"Hey now, Bizzoy, that ain't called fo'!" He protested. "Why's I an idiot?"

Apollo patted him lightly on the shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Listen, Wocky. You might think it's fun, but you can get in prison for statutory rape."

"Statu-wha now?" Wocky queried. He didn't even know how to pronounce that, let alone what the hell it meant! He knew what rape was, but he was pretty sure whatever happened she'd enjoy it whole-heartedly. What part of that was rape?

"Statutory rape is..." Apollo couldn't bring himself to talk about it in a conversation concerning his sister, so he self-censored it, "_That_, with a minor. Whether they enjoy it or not. It's a crime. In plain - you can't do it."

Wocky's expression turned into one of hurt. "So you's is sayin' incest and statue rape is awright but jus' rapin' statues ain't?" He almost shouted this at Apollo, but managed to control himself a little. "An' I ain't gettin' it on with a statue, either." He added quickly to the end.

Apollo let the whole 'statutory' thing slide. Wocky clearly would never understand. This guy hadn't even gone to college, and had horrible high school grades! "I'm not getting it on with my sister, either. That's just... Well, it's just weird! And wrong, and disturbing, and creepy, and- and- and-"

"Hotter dan fire?" Wocky finished.

"No!"

Apollo Justice did not like Trucy Wright in "that" way. Not only was he a lawyer, she was his half-sister - and 6 years older than her, too. He didn't want deformed, illegal children with his own sister!

And he wasn't interested, either.

"I'd tap dat if she were my sis or not." Wocky said smugly, eyeing Trucy again as he got yet another blow - this time a fist straight to his cheek. "Wha? I ain't sayin' I was gonna, or you should or nothin'!"

"You totally want to Wocky. Get those thoughts out of your mind." Apollo could perceive well enough to notice the strangely excited aura coming from Wocky - with every moment passing a more enthused expression.

"Like I said. Bangtidy, man. I yearn."

"Then don't yearn! Learn to control your yearning!"

"See, Lawyer-man..." He began, leaning closer to Apollo's ear to whisper into it, "You's don't understand a Kitaki, do ya?" Apollo shook his head. This was one thing he was glad to admit he understood nothing about. "We ain't afraid of danger! Danger is afraid of us."

_Coming from Mr Death Row_, Apollo thought to himself. This guy had a bullet so close to his heart one slight movement with it would kill him. And he was sat there just up and claiming that danger was afraid of him? It was kind of humorous, but also really not.

"So, I's get permission from her bro to hit on her?" Wocky asked all-too-hopefully.

"In your dreams, Kitaki." Apollo groaned, taking a small sip of his beer and scrunching his face up as the horrible taste flushed down his body and straight to his stomach, leaving a trail of after taste like a snail.

"Like hell it is!" He winked, all to happy by this reply.

"You sick minded little git."

"A G can dream, awright?" Wocky laughed, finishing off the remaining contents of his glass and pushing it over to the bartender for him to refill it.

"You'll be dreaming a long time, 'G'." Apollo rolled his eyes, following suit and also draining his pint, but declining a refill because he realized he'd need to stay sober and keep an eye on Wocky.

It could be dangerous to let him free when he was in this sort of state. And when a guy like Wocky Kitaki calls your sister 'bangtidy', you know you've got to watch them really close.

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><p><strong>Eek, another Ace Short done~ These are fun to write! Thanks to those who read them, I hope you have as much fun as me! :3<strong>


	7. It's Fuckin Incest!

ITS FUCKIN INCEST (aka Why I don't like Trolly)

AN: Just a little crack based on Trolly, because it's really hard to like the pairing when you have 3 brothers - 2 of which are halfs on your mums side, putting you in the same position with them as Trucy and Apollo. o.o' And yes, I meant "off of" as a grammar mistake /grammarnazi/. Enjoy~ ;)

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><p>"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK." Apollo screamed. Ooh yeahhhh. They'd just DONE IT. Broken the invisible barrier that brothers and sisters should NOT cross. Of course, they didn't know they were brother and sister. Because Phoenix Wright just thought "Nawh, they alriet, it isn't liek they gonna shag or sumthin." And Thalassa was all "Fuck dat, I haz amnesia, yuhh?"<p>

Bad judgement skills with that one, gaizz.

ANYWAYS, IT WAS SO HOT.

OMIGAWD HIS SWEAT WAS POURING LIEK CRAZAYY OUT ALL HIS PORES AND OFF OF HIS SHIRT AND ON TO TRUCY WHO IS LIKE 6 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM SO HE'S PRETTY MUCH DISBARRED NOW. CONGRATS TROLLY FANS. YOU KILLED AA. ALL WE HAVE NAO IS MILES.

FUCK.

TRUCY WAS ALL "AWH YEAHH." CAUSE SHE'S NICKS DAUGHTER, SHE'S A FUCKIN WHORE.

IDEK WHY THIS TURNS YOU ON IT'S INCEST AND IT'S GOING TO PRODUCE DEFORMED, RIDICULED-FOR-THE-REST-OF-THEIR-LIVES INBRED CHILDREN.

Shippers gonna ship.

You sick bastards.

All of a sudden, MR HAT CUMS OUT.

READ IT AS A SPELLING MISTAKE OR AS IN HE JIZZED.

However sick your mind is (I KNOW WHICH ONE I WENT FORRR ;D).

THREESOME.

WITH A PIECE OF WOOD.

I don't even want to know what you guys are thinking up now.

Personally I recommend removing your brain before reading this. I did before writing it.

It made me feel more like the Trolly ficcers and I don't have to think of all the sick fantasies.

THEN THALASSA COMES IN.

SHE SEES WHAT HER KIDS HAVE BECOME.

FUCK.

THEY'RE ANIMALS.

DOUBLE-FUCK.

AND THEY'RE DOING IT WITH WOOD.

FUCKINACAKE.

AND THAT'S SOME NASTYASS CAKE, I WILL TELL YOU NOW.

"WTF R U DOIN, GAIZZ?"

"Ohhaitharr Mommy!" Trucy squealed because she's got the mental age of a 4 year old clearly. She just broke two laws, and had incest.

STATUTORY RAPE AND STATUE RAPE.

Mr Hat is such a victim of sick minds.

Give him a hug, but be warned - you will be jizzed on at FULL PELT.

CONDOMS.


	8. This Bitch Is Crazy

**A little short I did for the kink meme a few days ago. The OP wanted something where Franzy would say something completely off-topic outloud, some stupid question or statement, and everyone would just look at her like "This bitch is crazy"(yes, I stole the OPs line idea at the end).  
>Anyway, enjoy~ <strong>

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><p>Whatever had happened to Franziska von Karma to make her state such peculiar things no one would ever know, however something odd must have done it. She was prosecuting a trial, against Apollo Justice, for the murder around yet another Global Studios star. This time it was the actress for the Pink Princess. She'd been electrocuted with a frayed camera lead during filming, however the thing that turned it into a murder was that it had been purposely tampered with.<p>

Naturally this case was no laughing matter, as with every case, so as the two bantered back and forth presenting evidence and arguing over the significance of it, no one ever saw what Franziska had to say coming.

"Only a fool with as much foolishness as the world's most foolish fool would ever believe such foolishness as that which you spew, Mr Apollo Justice!" She'd shouted across to the young man in red.

"So then, do you think my client could have done it, even though he was out during the entire duration of the murder?" Apollo cried back out over his desk, an arrogant smirk plastered across his face.

The crack of a whip sounded as the woman began to think on something of high importance to the case.

Or so it seemed.

"Do hedgehogs take offense to Mr Phoenix Wright's hair?" She - or so it appeared - retaliated to this question.

The courtroom fell into a deep silence, bar a few of the jury members hushed whispers. This was Franziska von Karma - surely there was a point to this question?

Apollo hunched over his bench, sweating uncomfortably. _She was a child-prodigy prosecutor?_ "Was that supposed to be some sort of... metaphor?" He asked, desperately hoping he was right.

The witness on the stand looked just as curious to know - though a little scared as to when that whip might meet him as he eyed it cautiously. The judge did as well, trying hopelessly to produce an answer for the question. "Well, I shouldn't think so. If it was modeled after them they're probably quite flattered. Perhaps they even think he's family."

"Maybe that's why he wears his Papa hat?" Apollo suggested, wiping his face off and smiling awkwardly.

"But then, he went without it for at least 3 years, didn't he?" Franziska retorted, more calm than usual. "Surely during that time he insulted a fair few hedgehogs. Honestly, that fool wasn't thinking of the hedgehogs when he got his hair cut."

Sadly, this is what the whole court appeared to start discussing from this moment. Apollo swore he even heard someone shout "Get the RSPCA!" but he shook it off swiftly. Really, no one would take it that seriously.

"Y-you're absolutely right... Get Mr Wright here to testify this instant!" The judge called out, his eyes wide with surprise. It was enough to make anyone drop their face in their palm, accompanied with a deep sigh.

"Your Honor, we're here about a murder, not to discuss hair." Reminded Apollo.

"Oh, r-right, yes." The judge stammered, trying to justify what he'd just said. "Well, um, Ms v-von Karma got me confused, you see. I'm very senile..."

A whip slashed out so fast it was barely even seen, however the poor judge felt it's sting, harsh against his wrinkled skin.

"Don't give me all the blame, Your Foolishness. I'm certain I'm not the only one who thinks about it sometimes."

"Well I suppose I-"

The judge didn't have time to even get out half his sentence as the whip flashed through the air again, once again stroking him roughly.

"Maybe..." She appeared to be in deep thought again. "Bailiff! Get me a hedgehog, and Phoenix Wright. I want to see if they can actually mate!" She ordered, as the familiar voice of Mike Meekins was heard, though the words incoherent, as the megaphone screeched over his speech.

One thought about Franziska filled everyone's mind from that point on.

_ This bitch is crazy._


	9. Internet Grammar

**AN: Just something short I did for the kink meme. The prompt was ""Fuck this, I'll leave school and become a striper!" "Yeah, we'll I'm gonna quit and be a raper" *high five*"**.** Enjoy. c:**

* * *

><p>Trucy Wright: Hating studying soooooo much :(<p>

Pearl Fey, Wocky Kitaki, Larry Butz and Klavier Gavin like this.

Wocky Kitaki commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>try bein held bak fo 3 yrs<br>its a crime bizzoy

Miles Edgeworth commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>Perhaps if you knew how to spell, your school would have taken you more seriously.<p>

Phoenix Wright likes this.

Wocky Kitaki commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>u startin smthin old man?<p>

Trucy Wright commented on her own status:  
>Calm, Wocky!:O<p>

Wocky Kitaki commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>rite rite<br>sorry shorty

Trucy Wright likes this.

Miles Edgeworth commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>What do you need help with, Trucy? Perhaps I could offer my assistance.<p>

Phoenix Wright commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>you have a dad downstairs btw (:<p>

Miles Edgeworth commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>Who apparently cannot even use proper grammar, either.<p>

Trucy Wright likes this.

Phoenix Wright commented on Trucy Wright's status:

Maya Fey, Pearl Fey, Miles Edgeworth and Trucy Wright like this.

Trucy Wright commented on her own status:  
>I literally cant do this<br>I keep getting distracted by you guys

Phoenix Wright commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>stop distracting the daughter<p>

Trucy Wright likes this.

Maya Fey commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>you tell em Nick! hit em hard!<p>

Larry Butz commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>nick 4 prez 2k27<p>

Maya Fey likes this.

Miles Edgeworth commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>I am surrounded by idiots.<p>

Trucy Wright commented on her own status:  
>Forget this, I'm gonna quit school and become a striper!:)<p>

Larry Butz likes this.

Phoenix Wright commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>LARRY GDI<p>

Wocky Kitaki commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>im gonna quit and becom a raper!<p>

Trucy Wright and Larry Butz like this.

Trucy Wright commented on her own status:  
>HIGH-FIVE<p>

Apollo Justice commented on Trucy Wright's status:  
>I REFUSE TO DEFEND HIM AGAIN<p>

Alita Tiala likes this.


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